Love is Blind. Friendship is Clairvoyant!  

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for a reason you need them to be.  

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. 

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Someone also said that the best way to keep friendships from breaking is not to drop them. 

Creating a Memorial Garden

Personal Village: How to have people in your life by choice, not chance

Solutions for a Fragmented Society, July 17, 2004

"To achieve intimacy with another, we have to begin by listening." ~Marvin Thomas

Marvin Thomas has written a fascinating book on friendship in the modern world. He is a Seattle author who earned his Master's in Social Work at the University of Washington. Through his life he has experienced the beauty of friendship and observed patterns that feed our genetically encoded desires to find relationships. He has also seen the damage of isolation and explains how we can use the "Principal of Seven" to fill our world with friends.

While we continue to be enamored with technology, we have become more and more isolated and yet the desire for friendship is still a force that drives us to seek companionship in our environments. While Marvin Thomas agrees that computers amplify the mind, he believes we cannot thrive when isolated. He also explains:

The basic universal needs
The essential ingredients of a healthy community
Why relationships need to be tended to on a regular basis
How you can find friends with similar interests
What to ask someone new when you first meet
How to keep a friendship for life

Most of us seem to keep connected with friends and family through e-mails. Marvin explores this idea and explains how e-mail can be like a journal that talks back to you. While e-mail may encourage deeper contemplation because you have time to consider what you want to say, Marvin Thomas encourages real-life relationships where you can nourish your soul through face-to-face intimate relationships.

Throughout "Personal Village" I had quite a few good laughs and many moments of enlightenment. The reading resources and movie suggestions looked tantalizing. Each chapter ends with a summary and a resource section. I loved the mention of the "Mostly Martha" movie, one of my all-time favorite chef movies.

Since I have just moved to a new community, this book was a comfort to me in a time when I felt everything was new and I didn't know a soul. After reading this book, I found myself venturing out more into my community and unlike other times in the past, I actually ventured out early and with a sense of determination. The girls at Pier 1 were discussing Josh Groban (so we talked about the concert I reviewed), the lady at the post office gave me directions on how to get back home and everyone seemed most helpful. I met a neighbor after going out for a walk and the community I'm living in seems to be much more geared towards common areas where people can meet or walk.

The advice in this book works and will encourage you to participate more fully in your community. I learned so much about basic human interaction that I'd never considered before. Marvin Thomas has filled "Personal Village" with a lifetime of wisdom and a collection of interesting and inspirational ideas to enable you to live a fuller, more enjoyable life no matter where you live. After reading his book, you may even want to start a cozy coterie or salon. My heart is dreaming of a Mystic Beach mentioned in this book. Our hearts want to find a place where we are loved, needed and appreciated.

~The Rebecca Review 

Staying in Contact with Friends

Poetry, cards, quotes

Friendship Day Ecards

Friendship Quotes

Raspberry Cookies for Tea with Friends

There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound. ~Diana Cortes

Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. Home is where your Friends are. There's no place like it. ~Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

There is no action or thought of mine in which I do not miss him, as he would have missed me. For just as he infinitely surpassed me in every other talent and virtue, so did he also in the duties of friendship. ~ Michel Montaigne (1533-1952)

Your friend is your needs answered. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Cooking with Friends

Make Ice Cream for a Party or Buy a Gift for a Friend

Sunflower Serenity The Candlelight Guitarist