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May I Kiss You?
A Candid Look at Dating, Communication,
Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness

May I Kiss You?

 
=    Never give up your self-respect


”I asked my friends, “How do you date?” and soon learned that the average male’s actions on a date were not far from the motivations of a serial rapist. Males were assuming what women wanted and then acting upon their own assumptions. Our society was teaching females to accept this unhealthy dating culture.” ~Michael J. Domitrz

Michael Domitrz is a nationally renowned expert on dating. He travels the country teaching students, parents, educators and professionals about respect and sexual assault awareness. His life was changed when his sister was raped in the fall of 1989. He started to question how he viewed dating. Over the years he created a program to change the way people view dating, respect and sexual assault.

“May I Kiss You?” takes a look at more than sexual assault. This book asks challenging questions, provides thought provoking scenarios and presents dynamic solutions.

Whether or not you have decided to wait until marriage or think you could never be raped, this book will give you the insight you need to not only protect yourself, but to protect the person you are dating.

Michael Domitrz discusses body language and how unreliable it can be. He asks if you are sending the right messages to your dates. What is very interesting is how males and females read body language in a completely different fashion. While the male’s reaction includes ideas about how the woman is very interested, the female’s response will include statements reflecting her nervousness and how uncomfortable she is with a particular situation.

Recently while watching a movie, the man asked the woman if he could kiss her. How often does this occur? Should it occur more? The author thinks it should. I have to agree that women will find this romantic. Of course, I can’t see that a guy would have to ask each time. As a relationship progresses into various stages, mutual respect and trust will guide more than questions. Right? The author doesn’t seem to agree.

The author makes some interesting points about how you should receive consent or you could be acting under the parameters of a sexual assault. The emotional pain and trauma from a sexual assault can be intense. Victims can react in dramatic ways, drop out of school or want to move away from the area where the assault occurred.

“Sexual assault can happen when two good people are dating each other and one person acts with disregard for the other person’s feelings and rights.”

So what do you do if you feel you have been raped? Chapter five gives you the resources you need to take action. The author says that you always have the right to say “stop.” Personally, I think you should think about what you are doing way before you need to say stop! If you don’t want sex, then perhaps putting yourself in the position of being alone with a person is not a good idea. A Mob Mentality is however something to consider. Hanging around with the wrong types of people can be equally harmful.

The author also discusses “Weapons of Self-Defense” and shows how your body and clothes can be used as defense against an attack. He also explains how the body and mind shut down during traumatic experiences and shock can limit your ability to physically react to your assailant. Thinking ahead seems KEY. Going out with a group of “good” friends on the first date seems a good idea.

The author gives excellent ideas on how to avoid being raped. Something as simple as selecting a different time of day for the date could save you years of trying to recover from a sexual assault. He discusses a variety of ways you can stay in control of your body. Even paying for half the date will give you more power or avoiding alcohol can help you remain in control. Date rape drugs are drugs everyone should be aware of so you can avoid this happening to you.

“May I Kiss You?” is not about whether you should have sex or not. This book does not discuss religious beliefs. It is about protecting yourself from having sex if you don’t want sex in any given situation. It is about creating a safe environment in a world of potential predators.

Every parent should read this book and discuss it with their teenagers. No matter what your religious beliefs, this book has information that could save your life. This book deals with the realities of our modern world and will give teenagers and adults the information they need to protect their self-esteem and protect the people they love.

Highly Recommended for the Life Saving Information.

~The Rebecca Review

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Think Safe

 

Living a Safe and Secure Life, July 7, 2005

"Be cautious of free offers either by mail or telephone." ~James McGrew

Why should you reconsider publicly announcing the birth of a new child?
What are the main concerns during parenting and what should you tell your children?
What are the main danger signals of suicide?
How can you protect your children from online predators?
What are the main things you can do to increase your home security?
How can you break cycles of violence?
What should you do and not do to de-escalate potentially violent situations?

In a world where checking your e-mail is not even a safe activity, predators lurk in expected and unexpected places. Did you really just win a lottery or are you about to enter into a scam spread in the form of greed-inducing spam?

Personal security and safety expert James McGrew has written a comprehensive crime prevention manual for our time. He presents startling statements like:

"Reports show that one in three women in the United States is abused."

James McGrew takes on a long list of challenges including school violence, Suicide Intervention, psychological abuse, domestic violence, sexual harassment, common scams, investment fraud, telemarketing travel scams, door-to-door salespeople, workplace violence, pyramid schemes, financial exploitation, identity theft, elder abuse and personal attacks.

If you have been alive for almost forty years, you have probably experienced a number of the issues in this book. Even as a person who has led a relatively safe life, I could relate to page after page.

This book should be given to anyone leaving home for the first time. No one taught me this information when I left home. Every parent should read this book and talk to children about how to stay safe on this volatile and often dangerous planet.

~The Rebecca Review

 

 

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