= Never give up your self-respect
”I asked my friends,
“How do you date?” and soon learned that the average
male’s actions on a date were not far from the
motivations of a serial rapist. Males were assuming what
women wanted and then acting upon their own assumptions.
Our society was teaching females to accept this unhealthy
dating culture.” ~Michael J. Domitrz
Michael Domitrz is a nationally renowned expert on
dating. He travels the country teaching students, parents,
educators and professionals about respect and sexual
assault awareness. His life was changed when his sister
was raped in the fall of 1989. He started to question how
he viewed dating. Over the years he created a program to
change the way people view dating, respect and sexual
“May I Kiss You?” takes a look at more than sexual
assault. This book asks challenging questions, provides
thought provoking scenarios and presents dynamic
Whether or not you have decided to wait until marriage
or think you could never be raped, this book will give you
the insight you need to not only protect yourself, but to
protect the person you are dating.
Michael Domitrz discusses body language and how
unreliable it can be. He asks if you are sending the right
messages to your dates. What is very interesting is how
males and females read body language in a completely
different fashion. While the male’s reaction includes
ideas about how the woman is very interested, the
female’s response will include statements reflecting her
nervousness and how uncomfortable she is with a particular
Recently while watching a movie, the man asked the
woman if he could kiss her. How often does this occur?
Should it occur more? The author thinks it should. I have
to agree that women will find this romantic. Of course, I
can’t see that a guy would have to ask each time. As a
relationship progresses into various stages, mutual
respect and trust will guide more than questions. Right?
The author doesn’t seem to agree.
The author makes some interesting points about how you
should receive consent or you could be acting under the
parameters of a sexual assault. The emotional pain and
trauma from a sexual assault can be intense. Victims can
react in dramatic ways, drop out of school or want to move
away from the area where the assault occurred.
“Sexual assault can happen
when two good people are dating each other and one person
acts with disregard for the other person’s feelings and
So what do you do if you feel you have been raped?
Chapter five gives you the resources you need to take
action. The author says that you always have the right to
say “stop.” Personally, I think you should think about
what you are doing way before you need to say stop! If you
don’t want sex, then perhaps putting yourself in the
position of being alone with a person is not a good idea.
A Mob Mentality is however something to consider. Hanging
around with the wrong types of people can be equally
The author also discusses “Weapons of Self-Defense”
and shows how your body and clothes can be used as defense
against an attack. He also explains how the body and mind
shut down during traumatic experiences and shock can limit
your ability to physically react to your assailant.
Thinking ahead seems KEY. Going out with a group of
“good” friends on the first date seems a good idea.
The author gives excellent ideas on how to avoid being
raped. Something as simple as selecting a different time
of day for the date could save you years of trying to
recover from a sexual assault. He discusses a variety of
ways you can stay in control of your body. Even paying for
half the date will give you more power or avoiding alcohol
can help you remain in control. Date rape drugs are drugs
everyone should be aware of so you can avoid this
happening to you.
“May I Kiss You?” is not about whether you should
have sex or not. This book does not discuss religious
beliefs. It is about protecting yourself from having sex
if you don’t want sex in any given situation. It is
about creating a safe environment in a world of potential
Every parent should read this book and discuss it with
their teenagers. No matter what your religious beliefs,
this book has information that could save your life. This
book deals with the realities of our modern world and will
give teenagers and adults the information they need to
protect their self-esteem and protect the people they
Highly Recommended for the Life Saving Information.
~The Rebecca Review
& Romance Page
a Safe and Secure Life, July 7, 2005
"Be cautious of free offers either by mail or
telephone." ~James McGrew
Why should you reconsider publicly announcing the birth of
a new child?
What are the main concerns during parenting and what
should you tell your children?
What are the main danger signals of suicide?
How can you protect your children from online predators?
What are the main things you can do to increase your home
How can you break cycles of violence?
What should you do and not do to de-escalate potentially
In a world where checking your e-mail is not even a safe
activity, predators lurk in expected and unexpected
places. Did you really just win a lottery or are you about
to enter into a scam spread in the form of greed-inducing
Personal security and safety expert James McGrew has
written a comprehensive crime prevention manual for our
time. He presents startling statements like:
"Reports show that one in three women in the United
States is abused."
James McGrew takes on a long list of challenges including
school violence, Suicide Intervention, psychological
abuse, domestic violence, sexual harassment, common scams,
investment fraud, telemarketing travel scams, door-to-door
salespeople, workplace violence, pyramid schemes,
financial exploitation, identity theft, elder abuse and
If you have been alive for almost forty years, you have
probably experienced a number of the issues in this book.
Even as a person who has led a relatively safe life, I
could relate to page after page.
This book should be given to anyone leaving home for the
first time. No one taught me this information when I left
home. Every parent should read this book and talk to
children about how to stay safe on this volatile and often
~The Rebecca Review